found at http://www.gtexts.com/
Harry Potter: Uh, hullo.
Britney Spears: Ohmigod. Are you British? I love British accents! You know, I email Prince William sometimes.
Harry Potter: That muggle? I mean, that's great.
Britney Spears: I love your outfit! You look like a wizard or something. (squeezes Harry Potter's cheek)
Harry Potter: Back, foul succubus!
Britney Spears: What?
Harry Potter: Oh sorry.
Britney Spears: Whatever. Oh, that's a great fake lightningbolt you've got tatooed on your forehead.
Harry Potter: It's not fake! Absolutely no part of me is fake.
Britney Spears: Yeah, me neither. (winks)
Harry Potter: Well, are you a muggle or not?
Britney Spears: A muggle?
Harry Potter: You know, can you do any magic?
Britney Spears: Hmm. Well, I did manage to transform my mediocre singing talent into a chart-topping pop-music sensation! Look, now I'm just a girl...now, I'm a whole industry!
Harry Potter: Wow, All I can do is transform lead into gold, or Hermione Granger into a frog.
Britney Spears: (giggles) They pay you for that?
Harry Potter: Well, no. But I also have the ability to magically transmute an identical storyline into the best-selling book in the country every single year. Abracadabra!
Britney Spears: It sells better than Britney Spears' Heart to Heart?
Harry Potter: (incredulous) yeah!
Britney Spears: Hmmm. Can you sing?
Harry Potter: No.
Britney Spears: Great, then lets cut an album together sometime.
Harry Potter: OK.
Britney Spears: So, what else do you do?
Harry Potter: Oh, I play Quidditch, this game where you fly around on a stick and try to catch the Snitch. I'm the "seeker".
Britney Spears: Sounds tiring. Oops!
Harry Potter: What is it, Britney?
Britney Spears: I did it again.
Harry Potter: What?
Britney Spears: I played with this poor guys' heart.
Harry Potter: Hey, it happens. Especially with a muggle as pretty as you.
Britney Spears: No, seriously. This guy was kind of old, and he had a pacemaker. I kept shooting microwave radiation towards him. He seemed to be having a real hard time breathing. I need to stop doing that kind of thing.
Harry Potter: What did this guy look like?
Britney Spears: He was kind of tall, kind of skinny, wore all these robes, kind of like yours, but older. He had a wizened old beard...
Harry Potter: You killed Dumbledore!
Britney Spears: I guess I should have stopped, but I got lost in the game. Ooh, baby, baby..
Harry Potter: (Starts beating Britney with magic wand) I can't believe you killed Dumbledorf, I mean Dumbledore!
Britney Spears: Stop hitting me!
Harry Potter: OK, sorry.
Britney Spears: Hit me baby one more time!
Harry Potter: (hits Britney again)
Britney Spears: Ow!
Harry Potter: Sorry.
Britney Spears: It's OK, I asked for it. I should never have performed so many annoying, repetitive songs.
Harry Potter: Well, I hope you're sorry.
Britney Spears: Believe me, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I had been accepted to Hogwarts, and that I lived in Griffendor.
Harry Potter: No, I hope you're sorry you killed Dumbledore!
Britney Spears: Oh, the old wizard I killed?
Harry Potter: Yes. With him dead, the evil Lord Voldemort will take over the world.
Britney Spears: Voldemort? Who cares!
Harry Potter: What?
Britney Spears: Harry, you have a lot to learn about girls. (giggles). I'm not that innocent... I am Lord Voldemort!
Harry Potter: Really?
Britney Spears: No, actually, Voldemort's just one of my drummers. He's really not such a bad guy. Nothing like those jerks from LFO. If they took over the world, it would be a real problem.
Harry Potter: What do you think of Christina Aguilera?
Britney Spears: (growls) Oh, I think she's so sweet! I want to kill her, uh, I mean, she's so nice!
Harry Potter: Well, I've got to get back to Hogwarts to battle the unholy terror you've unleashed on the world.
Britney Spears: Yeah, I've got to get back to the studio to unleash my next album, Oops...I Unleashed an Unholy Terror on the Universe Again, on the world.
Harry Potter: I guess this is goodbye.
Britney Spears: Yeah, nice meeting you.
Harry Potter: Allright, everyone reading this make sure you buy my books!
Britney Spears: Yeah, and all of you out there, buy my albums, calendars, posters, and my very special Britney Spears' Heart to Heart.
Harry Potter: Anything else you'd like to add?
Britney Spears: Oh yeah. All you girls out there, start dressing like a 22-year old coed when you're twelve.
Harry Potter: (flies away on broomstick)